How does self-betrayal manifest in our lives? When we do things that we know are harmful for us, we are betraying ourselves. We might feel insecure and self-hating because of past traumatic experiences. For me, I had one of those experiences yesterday when I was having a conversation with a friend. After the conversation, the following quote came across my path and again it resonated so deeply with me. Subsequently, today I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on self-betrayal, including 3 ways we can betray ourselves.
So we are on the same page about self-betrayal, here is the definition I found when researching self-betrayal —. As I was writing those definitions, I thought self-betrayal also linked to self-deception. As Paulo Coelho so eloquently said,. Ever had a good idea or a dream and not follow through on it?
This process helps me to decide if I want to follow through on them or not. When we present to others that we are perfect and have it all together, we're being dishonest.
When we try to be someone else, live up to others expectations, or present to the world the less-authentic version of ourselves we're really saying, "I'm not proud of who I am. I'm not enough. You're a beautiful, imperfect person who lives in a world with other imperfect people. Be proud of your quirks and flaws and choose to be in community with those people who embrace your imperfections.
By looking to others to "complete you". When I meet "the one" Our society, the movies, and the media has tricked us into believing that the most important relationship we'll ever have is with "the ONE" and that our lives are not whole until we find that person and ride off into the sunset.
We've all felt a sense of incompleteness when single and that desire to find our "better half" or the "one who completes us". And, many of us get into relationships with the hope that our partner will "fix us" or compensate for our imperfections. But we can never have a satisfying relationship with any other human being until we have the most satisfying relationship with ourselves.
We spend more time with ourselves than any other person, so make the relationship you have with yourself a priority. By not living fully present in the moment. In the future, when I When we live in the past or in the future we're robbing ourselves of the present moment.
The present moment is all we have. We certainly can't change the past and there are no guarantees for the future. Somehow, we think that when we accomplish those things in the future that our life will magically feel complete and happy. Or on the other end of the spectrum, we hear, "I can't be happy because of what happened in the past". Because each of these instances represents an act of self-betrayal. Betraying yourself may seem like a small price to pay for the benefit of fitting in with the crowd, but here are some of the hidden high costs of living like this:.
You lose touch with your own intuition, your inner voice, your moral compass. You become chronically indecisive. You lose your sense of self-respect and self-confidence. You develop a tendency towards dishonesty and inauthenticity. You become resentful.
You allow others to determine the trajectory of your life. Over time, the small decisions we make that betray the self is like a steady drip of water slowly dissolving stone.
So you may be asking yourself, Does me not betraying myself mean that I never compromise? Does it mean that I should always speak up and try to get my way in every situation?
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